Dog owner opens up about "anticipatory grief" over her senior doggo, expressing something all pupper parents feel, but are too scared to speak about: 'I can't help but feel sad when I'm with her'

Author image for Blake Seidel
Blake Seidel • Managing Editor & Brand Manager
Dec 5, 2025 9:00 AM EST

Something all of us dog owners have to face eventually is the grief of losing our precious pupper. Statistically, you're more likely to outlive your dog, so it's more than likely that you'll have to go through the process of their end of life, putting them down, and then all the emotions that come after. It's unavoidable. But something that also happens to all of us, that not many people talk about, is anticipatory grief: when you grieve their future passing before it has even happened.

It happens to us all the time. We look at our doggo, think about how much we love them, and then already fast-forward to the future where they're no longer with us. It's a terrible feeling. It's like when you have a canker sore that you can't stop touching. You know you shouldn't, and you know it's going to hurt, but you do it anyway. 

No one wants their dog to pass over the rainbow bridge, but that's part of life. All we can do is trust that we gave them the best lives pawssible. Shower them with love, kisses, cuddles, toys, whatever, as often as you can. Read through this pawrent's beautiful testimony and how the canine community supported her during this emotional moment!

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    Cheezburger Image 10581932032
    via Aceofspades1731
  • 02
    My baby is 12 years old. I know she can't stay with me forever, but every time I see her white hairs (I know her entire body is white but I can tell) and the fog in her eyes I want to cry.
    via Aceofspades1731
  • 03
    I love my baby so much. I don't know what I would do without her. I hate thinking about what life would be like without her. Sometimes I can't help but feel sad when I'm with her, and I hate it.
    via Aceofspades1731
  • 04
    How do I deal with this? I want to enjoy the time I have with my baby, but I can't help the grief that lingers.
    via Aceofspades1731

  • Worrying about their passing won't stop it from coming, so try to live in the moment with them. Make the most memories you can while you still have them next to you. Time seems to be going by faster and faster, so don't blink, or you might accidentally miss the whole thing.

  • 05
    Ok_Post_8891 · 12h ago My dog is 5 yo, and I'm sobbing everytime I see white hair on her. I don't know how I'm gonna survive.
    via Ok_Post_8891
  • 06
    Corg_nelius • 12h ago I'm sure you have her the best life she could possibly have. gotten. We all grow old. We all go. If we're lucky, we get lives as good as the one you gave her. And that has to be enough.
    via Corg_nelius
  • 07
    Man petting his old dog
    via chalabalaphotos

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 08
    streetrider_sydney 10h ago It is a tough matter especially if you are a true dog lover. I feel your pain. What helps is realising that when you live in the future like that, you may not be enjoying the present fully with her.
    via streetrider_sydney
  • 09
    She is here today, love her, cuddle her, give her nose a boop. Every day is a blessing, it applies to us just the same as it applies to your dog. You never know who dies first. Enjoy today, plan for tomorrow. When your mind is heavy, remind yourself that every day is a blessing!
    via streetrider_sydney
  • 10
    jdubbya110 11h ago I look at my dogs sometimes and cry thinking of what will come one day re: their mortality... I really have no advice but my personal goal for 2026 is to finally speak to a therapist about things like this and see what they suggest!
    via jdubbya110
  • 11
    Phaeron • 9h ago You just do. I lost my baby 01/25/24. I remember feeling just as you do many, many times well before the date. You won't be prepared and it will hurt.
    via Phaeron

  • Just like any grief, there is no magic cure to make it go away. You just have to live through it. Some people will tell you it gets less sad over time. We disagree. We just think you get better at dealing with the sadness. 

  • 12
    All I can say is, she was with YOU and you gave her the life you did. If you are like me, you loved that dog more than anyone else could have and gave her one of the best lives that could be given. In the end it wasn't all for you, it was for her. Fill her days with love, understanding and pets.
    via Phaeron
  • 13
    roserouge • 9h ago Anticipatory grief is real. Give yourself one day at a time and collect the soft and sweet moments now. The sadness and grief will come whether we worry or not, and there is no amount of preparation for the heartache.
    via roserouge
  • 14
    Woman kissing her dog
    via halfpoint

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 15
    My soul girl has been gone two years now and I still think of her every day. It was an emptiness in the shape of her, and over the last two years | have filled that Remy-shaped hole in my heart with the good memories we had for 15 years. Photos and videos help a lot. She will always be my best girl.
    via roserouge
  • 16
    chakabuku 9h ago Enjoy your time. I started preparing myself when my boy was 14. Little dude hung out for four more years.
    via chakabuku
  • 17
    Vergilly 10h ago Our Vergil (GSD x Husky) is 11 and his whole face is white... but started completely black. I have the same response. I try to embrace it as a way to remember to honor the life he has left and prepare for the goodbye. In a way, it hurts less
    via Vergilly
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    the day of goodbye when I've prepared. But he'll be the first dog I lose likely to old age - my first two were both illnesses. It's hard to think of life without him one day.
    via Vergilly
  • 19
    Specialist-Clue3029 • 8h ago This is called anticipatory grief. Happens with human relations too but with dogs it's off the chain, maybe because they don't live that long and completely depend on us. The ONLY thing that sucks about
    via Specialist-Clue3029
  • 20
    dogs, short lives. You'll know several dogs in your life, they'll know just you. It feels so personal and because you're their main character. It's what you signed up for when you got them and the last gift you can give them is a
    via Specialist-Clue3029
  • 21
    merciful and loving good-bye. What I take from that truth is to love them dearly as you have them, every day. They don't know they're dying like you do, so make it fun every day. Hold them close to you as though your life depends on them, but when it's time to let them go, let them go. Then cry like crazy.
    via Specialist-Clue3029
  • 22
    United_Grapefruit526 9h ago • When I was a kid I had two dogs (different time). First was guarding the farm and one day just ran into the woods and never came back, so it wasn't that hard on me, because "she somewhere, I just don't see her, she will come back".
    via United_Grapefruit526
  • 23
    Second was harder. He was like 17, and it was definitely time to put him to sleep, but it was long time ago, and easy way out wasn't yet a thing. So he can't walk, I cleaned after him... hell of experience for 15 year old. It started in winter, and when it became warmer
    via United_Grapefruit526
  • 24
    we took him to the farm. After few days he started walking, and was full of energy, but everything has its price, he felt so confident that we allowed him to roam... never heard of him since. Nothing and no one here forever. But dogs seems to like to leave on their own terms.
    via United_Grapefruit526

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Sad dogs pupper senior dogs doggo grief dog owners animals
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